Blade
by windwriter22
Summary: *2 chapters added* When a girl with self destructive behavior meets up with the newsies can they save her from her ultimate fate?
1. Crimson Drops

The blade slashed across her wrist drawing the blood to the surface. A small incision was visible and she severed deeper and deeper. The cold touch of the steel calmed her beating heart. She flicked the switchblade into the street where it landed with a clank. This was how she would die. Alone in the streets. Unnoticed and unimportant. By herself. Colors swirled around her and she became increasingly dizzy until finally the world went black.  
  
Much later she awoke, bright lights shining into her eyes, nearly blinding her. She saw a passing man and went up to him, asking "Is this heaven?"  
  
"Far from it, honey. New York City," the man answered and walked off chuckling to himself.  
  
She glanced down at her wrists, thin precise cuts were visible and scarlet drops of blood littered the sleeves of her white blouse. She rolled the sleeves back to reveal more cuts from previous nights similar to this one, but no attempt had ever been so serious, so desperate as last night. Secrets were just far too hard to bear. She wanted out. She needed out. And it seemed like this was the only way.  
  
The world passed by her fast and emotionless, people hurrying to get to work. First things first, she thought, time to get cleaned up. She walked to the nearest boarding house, attempting to find a place to stay. As long as she had to live she might as well live right.  
  
"Any openings, ma'am?" she asked the lady at the desk of Wilkhert's Boarding.  
  
The lady studied her ledger. "We've got an opening in room six. I'll give you a discount rate of a dollar a week. You have a job, I'm amusing?"  
  
"That's where I'm headed," she answered. She knew the woman would interpret that as she was going to work rather than to go find work, but at least she wasn't lying straight out. She was just manipulating the truth a bit.  
  
"Anything you need Jayce to bring in for you?" the lady asked her.  
  
She shook her head. "I travel light. I'll be back by dark."  
  
And with that she headed out to make a new life for herself in a new town.  
  
Walking several blocks she looked for any shop windows with an advertisement for needing help to no avail. Eventually she passed by a nightclub with a sign outside that read, "Waitress needed."  
  
She sighed. "It may not be the most reputable place, but I don't have many options right now." She walked through the door and towards the man who looked to be the manager. "You're looking for a waitress?" she asked.  
  
He gave her a once over. "Yeah," he said back, once again looking her over.  
  
"Well, I'm looking for a job," she stated, trying to draw his attention away from checking out her body.  
  
"Then you've got the job, toots," the man said as he walked by her and intentionally brushed past her chest. "Chris'll show you how we work."  
  
A dark haired man in his early twenties smiled and waved to her, hopping down from his seat on the bar.  
  
"Is this that obscene of a place? I mean, I know it's a nightclub but still.."  
  
Chris grinned. "Don't worry, we're more of an eating and dancing place. You don't have to run around stripping. Mr. Orion just isn't the most gentlemanly guy you'll ever meet. Most of the customers behave better than that." A small smirk crept across her face. "Before you get too cocky lemme show you the ropes."  
  
"I resent that," she said, but her tone showed she was mostly joking around.  
  
At that moment Chris looked at the blood speckled sleeves and noticed the fresh scars and old wounds on her wrists. "You aren't..?"  
  
"Suicidal," she offered.  
  
"Yeah. You aren't, are you?"  
  
"Depends on my mood," she answered, trying to appear nonchalant.  
  
He looked at her suspiciously. "And at the moment?"  
  
"Would I be trying to get a job if I was planning on dying soon?" she said and he nodded.  
  
"All right, that's that then. Now for your job. Do you have any waiting experience?" She shook her head in a distinctive no. "Okay, then let's get started. We normally get busy around nine, but shift starts at eight. I'll show you the ropes that hour so you can leave for now. Go and wash up and change your shirt, if you could."  
  
"I can't," she answered.  
  
"No place to stay?" he asked.  
  
"No possessions," was the curt answer.  
  
"No problem, here's one for you to wear," he said, removing his button down shirt. She stared in shock at his gorgeous, well-defined abdomen. She stared for nearly two minutes before he tossed the shirt at her face. "I just put it on, it's not dirty," he teased in the same way someone would say 'I don't bite.'  
  
"Thank you," she said, trying to cover her blunder. "See you at eight."  
  
"Yeah, at eight," he repeated. As she walked out the door he added, almost as if it was an afterthought. "What's your name, kid?"  
  
"Shannyn," she said simply.  
  
Chris climbed around the counter and over to her. "Well, Shannyn, you can call me Mush. Nearly all the boys do."  
  
"The boys?" she asked, surprised.  
  
He grinned. "The newsboys. I'm one of 'em actually. I just sell mornings and work here nights. I was in here early since we were short on help. Can't wait for you to meet 'em," he said. He took her hand and kissed it in a flirtatious manner.  
  
She blushed. "Eight o'clock,' was all she said as she walked out of the club and into the street.  
  
A/N: Bet you weren't expecting that to be Mush, eh? Truthfully I wasn't either, but it is! Haha. Okay, this is my first attempt at newsie fanfiction so please review and let me know what you think!!  
  
- 


	2. First Night On The Job

Shannyn rushed back towards the boarding house she called home. She stopped at the front desk and asked for a key to her room. The woman handed her the key and she dashed into the room and collapsed on the bed, laughing to herself. When she finally rose to her feet, Shannyn removed the stained white shirt and tossed it into the corner of the small room, pulling out the washbasin Jayce had filled in her absence. After splashing water on her face to wake her up, Shannyn proceeded to clean the cuts. Knowing the white shirt was worthless with the stains she ripped into even shreds of cloth. She hastily wrapped the cuts so they were no longer visible. Twenty minutes later, she was clean and slipping into Chris' dark blue shirt. It was oversized, but it would have to do. She glanced into the mirror and nearly smiled at her cleaner look. After running her hand through her hair one more time she grabbed a key and stuffed it into the small change purse she carried around with her. With that she was ready to go back out. From the position of the sun it was probably only six o'clock, meaning she had two hours to kill before going to work that night.  
  
"Out again already?" the lady at the front desk asked Shannyn.  
  
Shannyn turned around in the threshold and faced her. "Out to waste time before work," she replied.  
  
"I see," the woman answered. Shannyn noticed her glancing at the man's shirt she wore. "So, who's shirt is that?"  
  
"Chris."  
  
"Who's Chris?" the nosy lady persisted.  
  
Getting more than slightly annoyed, Shannyn replied, "Just a guy I work with. Now if you'll excuse me I have some stuff to do." She walked out the door without waiting for the lady's reply.  
  
Out on the street she was greeted with the hustle and bustle of the big city. Having only arrived in NYC two days previously she still wasn't accustomed to the crowds. She heard someone shouting "Mayor has deadly disease!" and went over to investigate.  
  
She wasn't the only one drawn to the sound of an exciting headline. Five or six other people were surrounding a tall boy wearing a cowboy hat over his dirty blonde hair. He was carrying nearly seventy-five newspapers under his arm and was exchanging them with the people for a penny. She knew he was a newsboy and thought maybe he would know Chris enough to give her some background on him.  
  
"Excuse me," she said to the boy. "Do you happen to know a boy named Chris - I mean, Mush?"  
  
"I know a Mush Meyers. He's a newsie like me an' he woiks in a nightclub part-time. Why are you'se wonderin'? He love ya an' leave ya, too?" the tall boy asked as if this was a common occurrence.  
  
"No, I just work with him," she answered back.  
  
The boy looked only slightly embarrassed before recovering from his blunder. "Oh, sorry 'bout dat. It's just Mush's got quite a head fah usin' da ladies, ya know?" I nodded and he started talking. "Listen, I'd really like ta talk ta ya but if ya wanna we'se gonna have ta keep walkin' as I sell cos I need ta get dese papes done. Mush's makin' us come ta meet da new waitress." As soon as the words left his mouth a sudden realization dawned on him. "You'se da new waitress, ain'tcha?"  
  
"Correct," she said. "I was just wondering if you could tell me anything about him."  
  
Jack grinned. "You inta him or somethin'? Cos he ain' exactly da best da hang 'round. He ain' too good at stayin' still in relationships," he warned.  
  
"I don' know enough 'bout 'im ta like 'im. I'se jus' wonderin'," she said.  
  
"Don' have ta do wit' 'is abs, does it?" he asked as if he'd been through this situation quite a few times.  
  
"Well.." she said, not being able to answer straight. The clock ringing eight o'clock saved her. "I'm supposed to be at work right now!" she exclaimed. She didn't want to be late for the job on her first night.  
  
"Den I guess ya bettah haul off ta da club. I'se gonna be dere in a few minutes, jus' got fifteen papes left ta sell taday."  
  
As he faded into the crowd Shannyn broke out into a bit of a run towards the nightclub until she saw the painted sign announcing her place of work. She slid into the door just as the clock proclaimed eight ten. "Sorry I'm late!" she said as she burst into the room. The restaurant area seemed empty save two businessmen.  
  
Mush looked at her. "What took ya so long?"  
  
"I was talking to one of your newsie friends and forgot to watch the clock," she explained.  
  
"Well, Shann, you're lucky, but don't let it happen again." He noticed her giving him a weird look. "What?"  
  
"No one's called me Shann since--" she cut off.  
  
"You're hiding something from me, aren't you?" Mush asked her. He grabbed her hand so that his large hand engulfed her own.  
  
He was staring deeply into her eyes and she couldn't bear to look at him any longer. She jerked her hand out of his grasp. "Please, don't make me."  
  
"I'm sorry," he whispered into her ear.  
  
Before either could say anything, voices broke the silence. "Mush! You'se flirtin' already?" the one from earlier said. Behind him a shorter boy with crystal blue eyes was laughing.  
  
Mush was blushing as he answered back, "I think you'se confusin' me wit' da infamous Spot Conlon. He's da one wit' a different goil in bed each night."  
  
"I resent that!" Spot interjected, but everyone ignored him.  
  
"As opposed ta every othah night like you?" the taller boy joked.  
  
"Enough, Jack," Mush said, sensing that Shannyn was uncomfortable. "Time to get this party started," he joked. "Lemme show ya da basic ropes," he told Shannyn, and he did. She learned the basics for waiting and just as they wrapped up nine o'clock came and the people began to pour in.  
  
"What would you like?" she asked two men who looked as if they'd just gotten off work. They appeared to be in their thirties and were most likely married with children.  
  
"I think you know what we want," one of them said, looking her up and down.  
  
She slowly backed away a few steps and bumped into Mush. "Sirs, I think you're at the wrong club if that's what you're looking for. This is just a bar with live music," Mush said sternly to the two men. Despite his young age, the two men heeded Mush's comments without much of an argument. The two stood up and left. Mush called out after them, "The red light district is to the left, if you were wondering."  
  
"Don' tell me all guys in this city are like this?" she asked, waiting for the answer.  
  
Mush pondered for a moment before answering. "They ain' all like dat. Most of us newsboys ain' as bad as dey make us out ta be - sleepin' 'round an' all. Well, 'cept Spot heah, he's a manslut."  
  
"What're ya sayin' 'bout me?" Spot called from the other end of the club.  
  
"That you're one fine looking piece of newsboy," Shannyn joked, letting some of her sarcasm leak out for the first time in over a month.  
  
"Well, of course I am," Spot said before turning back and talking to Jack again. Mush and Shannyn started to laugh uncontrollably until another table called her over to wait.  
  
"I'll take a bear and some steak," the man asked. And so began her first night of work. For five hours she waited tables. Finally, the shift ended at two in the morning.  
  
"You wanna come an' party wit' me an' da boys annudah night? Spot's havin' a party soon an' he's invitin' all da boroughs. You'll getta me da Queens goils too," Jack offered, slipping his hat back onto his head, about to make his exit.  
  
"I'd love to," she replied. "When?"  
  
"In three or foah days, I'll tell Mush ta give ya da details," Spot cut in.  
  
Shannyn grinned slightly. "I'll be there."  
  
"All right then," Jack said, smiling at her. "We'll see you there." With that he walked out, followed quickly by Spot. The owner walked out the door a moment later, leaving Chris and Shannyn to clean up themselves.  
  
"I'll wipe down da tables, you go back an' dry 'em. Sound good?" Mush offered. Shannyn nodded and caught the cloth he tossed at her. As they cleaned, the two carried out a conversation. "So, what do ya think of Jack an' Spot?"  
  
"They seem like nice people. I don't really know them that well," she answered as she wiped the table dry.  
  
"Ya inta dem?"  
  
"As in romantically?" Mush nodded. "I don't even really know them!"  
  
"Its just dat dey's da ones every goil wants an' every boy wants ta be. Dey's got goils all ovah dem every day, an' you ain' flippin' out ovah their appearance," he explained.  
  
"Did you think I was that shallow?"  
  
He had trouble thinking of what to say before answering with a decisive "No, it's just unusual that's all."  
  
"Well, I prefer the more romantic types," she said, looking deep into his eyes as she spoke.  
  
He grinned. "Well I hope ya meet da romantic you'se lookin' foah."  
  
"Thank you," she said before returning to drying the tables. After that, Mush escorted her back to the boarding house to make sure she made it okay.  
  
"Goodnight," Mush said, standing on the doorstep facing her.  
  
"G'night," she replied, smiling eagerly.  
  
Just as he began to turn as if to leave, he turned back towards Shannyn. Without any words, he leaned in and kissed her; she returned the kiss until he backed away. Silently, he walked into the night.  
  
"Definitely a good night," she whispered to herself as she snuck back into her bedroom and laid down in her bed, exhausted.  
  
A true smile crept across her face for the first time since - well, since then.  
  
A/N: Thank you all of you for your reviews! I'm way too tired for shout- outs today but I promise them with the next chapter. : ) 


	3. Don't Call Me Shann

"Wake up! We'se gotta get ya ready for da party in Brooklyn tanight!" a random blonde woke her the next morning. She looked past his face - with an eyepatch over one eye - to see Mush's smiling face leaning over her bed.  
  
"How'd you get in here?" she asked the two as she self-consciously pulled the sheet higher.  
  
Mush held up a key. "Race heah bribed da goil at da front desk," he explained.  
  
"So essentially you're saying that you broke into my room with a key that you bribed out of some lady and brought two random boys in with you?" she questioned, but there was a hint of amusement in her voice.  
  
"Yeah, pretty much." He grinned. "'Cept dere's three boys ya don' know."  
  
Shannyn's eyes scanned the room and she noticed two other boys she didn't recognize. A short Italian boy with dark curly hair and a taller boy with dark black hair and a sort of exotic look to him. "And you are?"  
  
The boy with the curly hair replied, "Racetrack. An' dat's Bumlets." He pointed to the taller boy who nodded his head in greeting before staring at the window again.  
  
"Remind me to have a nice little talk with the woman at the front desk," Shannyn said joking. "Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to change."  
  
Mush smiled but made no effort to move. The other's didn't take any steps towards the door either. Finally, Mush answered, "We really don't mind, go right ahead."  
  
"Mush!" Shannyn said. The boy still made no move towards the exit and finally she gave up. "Fine," she stated before dragging herself out of the bed. She already had pants on, and a tight undershirt on top, so she wasn't completely naked. However, standing there with four boys in her room made her feel so. Hastily she shoved on her button shirt and fumbled until it was successfully buttoned enough. "Enjoy that enough?" she asked. From the looks on the boys faces it was clear they did. She leaned and whispered in Mush's ear, "I swear, Chris, I'll get you."  
  
"I never knew you felt that way," he said back with a cocky air. "Trust me, we'll find a nice secluded spot down in Brooklyn tonight."  
  
"Screw you," she said back.  
  
"I know you want me, but you don't have to talk about it in front of other people," Mush said, continuing to make jokes.  
  
"Go to hell," she spat back before turning away. "And I can't go to Brooklyn anyhow."  
  
"And why is that?" Racetrack asked from the corner of the room.  
  
"I'm not saying. I know you'll laugh," she answered.  
  
Bumlets spoke. "Ahh, c'mon. What if we promise we won't laugh?" he suggested.  
  
"Fine. Its just.. I don't have anything to wear," she managed to get out in one breath.  
  
The boys were all holding in their laughter when Mush next spoke. "What if I get ya somethin' ta weah?"  
  
"And I suppose you have a large collection of women's clothing that you wear in your spare time," Shannyn commented.  
  
"No- but I know just the place," Mush answered, ignoring the snickers around him. He looked to the others. "Medda's," he said. All around him boys gave approving looks and nods, so he grabbed Shannyn's arm and started to drag her out of the room.  
  
"So who's this Medda woman?" she asked on the way to the showhouse.  
  
"She's just a singer. Owns a Vaudeville theater we hang out at. She'll have some costumes in ya size though," Blink explained. "Some of da goils woik dere." Talking to Bumlets he added, "Ya t'ink she's neah Mouth's size? You'd be da one ta know."  
  
"Well," Bumlets said, looking her up and down. The boys laughed amongst themselves as Shannyn stepped further to the side of them. "I'd say she'd fit 'em," he said seriously.  
  
"She's got dat cute little red one," Racetrack stated, staring off into space.  
  
"Hey! Dat's me goil you'se talkin' 'bout! An' you'se got Spark. An' da babies," Bumlets reminded him.  
  
"I know, I'se jus' playin' wit' ya. I love Spark moah den you can imagine," he answered, sighing dreamily.  
  
"Boys, boys,, lets stop talkin' 'bout oah lovah's an' get Shannyn eah somethin' ta weah down ta Spot's. Den she'll meet ya goils. Sound good?" Mush interrupted. "In fact, heah we are."  
  
Shannyn looked up and was facing a large building with a sign that read 'Irving Hall' with a picture of an older redheaded lady in a cheap purple dress and the name 'Medda Larkson: The Swedish Meadowlark' underneath her.  
  
"Medda?" Blink called when they reached the inside of the building. They'd gone through a side entrance, which led to backstage. "You in heah?"  
  
"Kid Blink? What do you need?" said the older lady as she walked into the room. She saw the other boys and grinned. "Bumlets, Racetrack," she said, waving in greeting. "And Mush.. Who's your little friend?"  
  
"Shannyn," she answered, stepping forward and offering Medda her hand. "I work with Mush."  
  
"Why hello Shannyn. So how can I help you all?" she asked after shaking Shannyn's hand.  
  
"Well, ya see, Spot's havin' dis big party down in Brooklyn, an' Shannyn heah ain't got nothin' ta wheah. We was thinkin' ya might have somethin' dat would fit 'er."  
  
Medda looked her up and down before saying, "Come with me, doll. I'll find you something near your size."  
  
Shannyn followed her down the backstage hallway and through a doorway. Inside the room were the most intricate and ornate dresses she had ever seen in her life. On one side were several brightly colored dresses of oranges and reds with beaded patterns and on her left she was surrounded by black dresses of varying shapes, with pastels lying ahead. No two dresses were alike and each had a tag with a name on it saying which girl it belonged to.  
  
"Now I'm thinking you're closest to Mouth's size out of my performers. Try this one on for size," she said, handing Shannyn a very simple royal blue dress without any ornaments. "I know it's not very adorned, and that's why I think it'll work for this situation. Mouth never got around to finishing it up, I'm sure you can have it."  
  
Shannyn slid into the dress, which had a noticeably low neckline. There was no mirror in the room, and she knew she'd have to make her way to the vanity in Medda's dressing room to see herself. And that meant she would have to pass the group of boys standing outside the door without even knowing what she looked like in the first place.  
  
"Woo-hoo!" began the first catcall from Mush as she walked out into the hallway. The other boys followed his lead, but Shannyn knew better than to attempt to cover up. Instead she walked towards Medda's dressing room with feigned pride.  
  
"You sure this is a good idea?" she asked Medda while she was brushing her hair at the vanity.  
  
"The dress? Or me brushing your hair?" Medda asked with a hint of amusement.  
  
Shannyn looked into the mirror in front of her. "The dress," she answered.  
  
"It's gorgeous onyou. Ignore those boys, they'd drool over anyone," Medda attempted to explain.  
  
She spun around on the chair to face Medda. "So essentially you're telling me that it's not about me but that they catcall at everyone?"  
  
"Pretty much," Medda answered. "I'm finished," shetold her, laying the brush down on the counter.  
  
Shannyn looked in the mirror and grinned. Despite the embarrassment she knew she'd face, she also looked pretty good. With newfound confidence she approached the group of guy.  
  
"Hey there, sexy lady," Mush joked. Shannyn swatted him on the head playfully and he defended against it.  
  
"Look how cute dey are tagethah," Blink volunteered and the others chuckled.  
  
Mush blushed (a/n- whoa, that sounds cool. heh) and turned to flick off the other boys. "Let's get goin' ta da party, 's'already gettin' neah six-thoity."  
  
"Okay," Shannyn agreed and followed trustingly behind Mush. Soon the two dropped back from the rest of the group talking amongst themselves.  
  
"So, Shann," Mush said.  
  
Shannyn cut him off. "I told you, don't call my Shann ever again," she state angrily.  
  
"Why can't Ijus' call ya by a simple nickname?" Mush asked.  
  
"'Cause no one's call me Shann since.."" she faded out again.  
  
Mush answered angrily, "Why can' ya just tell me da story. Iain'tn gonna think any less of ya."  
  
"Ya wanna know? I'll tell ya," Shannyn shouted. Emotion griped her voice as she began the chilling tale.  
  
**Flashback**  
  
"Stand back ya dirty wench. This is my score ta settle!" the angry man shouted as he burst through the door, knife in hand. His uncombed hair and unwashed body added to the already terrifying look he possessed. "Get out here ya lazy ass coward!" he shouted towards the doors of the house.  
  
"Shann? Who's talking to you like that?" a young man said as he came out from inside a room. He couldn't have been a day over twenty-one. He had a kind face and handsome dark eyes. When he saw the man his jaw clenched, and it was obvious he was afraid. "What the hell are ya doing here, Tony?"  
  
"I told you, I'd get your family back if it was the last thing I did," the man barked. He shoved the younger man down onto the ground and stood over him so that he was helpless. Without another word he slid the knife directly into the young man's heart.  
  
"André! No!" Shannyn shouted, running towards her husband. She hugged him, not caring that the blood was soaking her best white shirt.  
  
"Watch out, bitch, you'll be next," the man growled before staggering out the door like a drunk man.  
  
"Shannyn! Shann, please, keep going."  
  
"You can't die!" she interjected.  
  
André shook his head. "I can't stop fate, I'm going to die. That's the all of it. But you have to promise - promise me right now - that you'll go on living your life. Remember me, but don't devote your life to me. Please, Shann, please," he begged. "Promise me."  
  
"I promise," she whispered, so soft that he probably didn't even really hear her speaking.  
  
"J'aime tu," he said, showing his French roots. And with those last words his eyes closed for the last time, never to open again.  
  
**End Flashback**  
  
"So now you know. Happy?" she asked.  
  
Mush would have been angered by her tone but he could see tears streaming down her eyes. He grabbed her and pulled her close to him. Shannyn buried her head in his chest and cried while he whispered soothing words into her ears.  
  
A/N: So I'm too lazy to write about the party today. Expect it before I leave for my school field trip for a week (I leave May 5). Yerp.  
  
SOs:  
  
Ashley: She was in NYC the whole time. Like she was there the first night too. Sorry if that was confusing. Glad you like it!  
  
KellyAnne: Glad you think its amazing. Makes me feel special. *grin*  
  
Meg: Yes, Spottie is a manslut. XD  
  
Ember: thanks a ton! Keep reading!  
  
Bunny C: Yeah. Being suicidal isn't good though. Don't die. If you wanna be in the story email me some of the basics (personality, looks, etc.) and I'll try to work you in. (No promises but I'll see what I can do)  
  
Firecracker: Yerp. Twists are good. Hehe. Thanks for reviewing. My alter- ego also thanks you. xD 


	4. Never Laugh At Mush Meyers Wait, That M...

A/N: Okay.. so its way AFTER West TX. * cowers in shame * Please don't hurt me! I had to pack!! And write my Torah speech. And now the homework comes. Bah.  
  
-------  
  
Mush reached his hand up to Shannyn's face and dried the tears off her face with the sleeve of his shirt. "Can you go in?" he asked her, pausing just off the Brooklyn lodging house steps.  
  
"I don't really have a choice, do I?" she asked. Mush was about to speak again when she cut in, "Don't bother, Chris. I'll go. I need to do this."  
  
A slight smile crossed his face. "If ya don' mind, I don' really like da name Chris," he said loftily before sliding his arm protectively over her shoulder and steering her through the open door.  
  
"Mush! Shannyn! Ya made it!" Shannyn heard Spot shout from his perch on the stairs. He stood up, swaggering slightly.  
  
"Is he drunk?" Shannyn asked, slightly surprised as it was only seven o'clock.  
  
Spot stumbled to her. "Of coise I'se not drunk!" he slurred before sliding into a chair.  
  
A girl walked into the room from the other doorway and walked over to Spot. "Is dis hooligan heah botherin' ya?" she said to Shannyn, her tone jesting.  
  
"Not really, no," she answered truthfully, looking at the intoxicated boy and trying to hold back laughter. "He yours or something?" she asked of the girl she'd not seen before.  
  
A large smile appeared across the girls face. "Dis bum? Oh, no, he ain' me boy. At least, not romantically." She broke out into loud chuckles. "Dat's me bruddah, Spot Conlon. Da name's Sweets," the girl said, spitting in her hand and sticking it out for a shake.  
  
Shannyn, figuring this was the socially acceptable way to operate did the same, but after she brought her hand back she wiped it on her skirt. This antic brought a small smile to Mush's face as he could remember nearly every other girl feeling the same way when she first met the gang.  
  
"I'se Sweets' boy," Blink said, walking over to her and sliding his hand into hers.  
  
"Hiya Blinky-boy," Sweets said flirtatiously before turning her attention back to Shannyn. "If ya wanna meet me bruddah's goil ya gonna have ta go up dere." She turned to Mush. "Ya might as well show 'er up ta Slider. I'se gotta take care of me drunken bruddah heah."  
  
"Slider?" Shannyn asked. She still wasn't quite used to the odd nicknames that the newsies gave themselves.  
  
Spot brought his head up from its resting place on the table and looked towards Shannyn. "Slidah's me goil," he said before landing his head back in its position with a loud clunk.  
  
Just then a girl with light brown hair slid (a/n: pun intended) into the room and sat down beside Sweets. "Hey, whore. You let 'im pass out again? I leave 'im wit' ya for two minutes an' he's out like a light. You'se was busy wit' Blink, woin't ya?" After she finished 'greeting' Sweets, she noticed the new girl. "Dis da new goil Spot was tellin' me 'bout?" she asked Mush.  
  
"Yeah, that's me," Shannyn answered. She hated when people talked about her like she wasn't in the room. "Name's Shannyn. And you're Slider, right?"  
  
"So you've hoid of me, eh?" she said, grinning. She twisted around in her chair to face Mush. "Da goil got a name yet?"  
  
Confused, Shannyn asked, "Shannyn isn't a good enough name for you?"  
  
"No, no, dat's not what she's sayin'," another girl interrupted. "We'se all got nicknames an' Sli was wonderin' if Mush had given ya one yet."  
  
"She doesn't have one, Spark," Mush told the girl who had approached.  
  
Shannyn looked at the newcomer, slightly startled. She had short brown hair that looked somewhat boyish, but had a feminine quality to it. Her dark brown eyes looked as if they could penetrate a wall with her stare. The girl didn't look to be over eighteen and yet on either hip hung a child: a dark, curly haired boy who looked suspiciously familiar and a girl who had may qualities of her mother.  
  
Her thoughts were broken when Racetrack rushed up to the girl. "Spark!" he exclaimed happily.  
  
"Hey honey," she said as he pulled her into his arms. "One second, lemme set Ari and Shai down," she told him before detaching the children from her waist and sitting them down on the ground near Spot who watched them protectively. "That's better," she said.  
  
"Good," was all Racetrack said before sweeping her into a deep romantic kiss.  
  
Shannyn felt tears filling her eyes as she watched the happy couple. They were so full of the love that only fiancées and newlyweds could feel. At one point, she couldn't help but think, she had all that.  
  
In her ear she heard Mush whispering. "Dat's Race's goil, Spark, obviously. Dey ain't seen each othah in a few days 'cause Race has been out lookin' for a place for dem ta live wit' da babies aftah deir stint as newsies is ovah. Da kids are dere's too, Shai Dominicio an' Arianna Chaya."  
  
"Are they married?" Shannyn questioned.  
  
Mush shook his head. "Give 'em two months, dat's when dey's plannin' on it. But ya, look at 'er fingah."  
  
On Spark's left ring finger sat a gorgeous, small crystal set in a silver band. It wasn't the most extravagant ring, but it was obviously more than a boy on a newsies salary could afford. "How'd he get it?"  
  
"Grandma," came the answer. Shannyn turned to see the tall cocky boy she'd met her first night working. "His family used ta be one of da wealthiest in da all of New Yawk. Den 'is drunken faddah went an' blew it all, embarrassed da family an' got 'em run outta town. Dat's why Race don' like da hoity-toity gents at all, he won' even tolerate 'em 'cause 'e's supposed ta be one," Jack explained.  
  
She nodded, understanding perfectly how he felt. You read about that often in the papers, men with gambling debts ruining their family's lives.  
  
"Can I get ya a drink?" Mush offered, noticing the awkward lull in the conversation.  
  
She nodded. "I'll come with you."  
  
This is what Mush had been hoping would happen. Amidst the boys winking and flashing good luck signs to Mush thinking he was about to score, the two made their way to the table where an assortment of drinks lay scattered about. It looked to be whatever the boys (and girls) had gotten there hands on recently. "Wine?" Mush questioned before pouring two glasses of the burgundy liquid from the dusty green bottle. "Cheers!" he said jovially and clinked his glass with Shannyn's.  
  
"Cheers," she answered before downing the glass in an impressive amount of time.  
  
Mush looked on in disbelief. "How'd ya get it down dat fast?" he said, mesmerized.  
  
Shannyn smirked. "I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you," she teased.  
  
"Oh, no you don't!" Mush shouted with more than a hint of amusement in his voice. With the happiness and energy of a young boy he grabbed at Shannyn's waist and tickled her ribs mercilessly until the two fell back onto the couch. Shannyn was pinned underneath Mush on the dilapidated old sofa in the lodging house, her wine laying forgotten on the table she'd set it down on the moment before impact. Giggling, she squirmed to free herself from his grasp as the rest of the crowd looked on, laughing like crazy. "Say uncle!" Mush demanded playfully.  
  
"Ne.. v.. er!" she managed to belt out between chuckles.  
  
The steady stream of laughs followed for nearly five minutes after while Shannyn gasped for her breath. When the observers finally went back to whatever they had been doing before, Mush still wouldn't move from his post on top of her. "You ever gonna get off?" she asked him when her giggles ceased.  
  
"I don't know, I really like this position," he said, glancing down at his hands, which caressed her hips. He licked his lips in a lustful manner, mainly teasing, but not completely.  
  
Shannyn looked up at him with feigned puppy dog eyes. "What do I have to do to get you to get off me?" she begged. "Oh Almighty Mush," she added for good measure.  
  
"Well.." he said suggestively, looking her up and down and rotating his hands off her sides and towards her back.  
  
"Oh, no you don't!" she squealed, though she wasn't truly sure whether she was serious or just playing her role.  
  
Without another word Mush pressed his lips against hers. The two kissed long and hard as they lay there. Passionately the couple kept at it for quite a while before they awoke from their dream world and noticed the applause coming from the real world.  
  
"So I see Mushy's found some love," Spark teased, once again holding the little girl while Racetrack held the boy that so closely resembled him.  
  
Mush removed his hand and turned it towards Spark before lifting a very significant finger. After merely a few seconds he turned back to Shannyn and began to kiss her once more.  
  
- - - - - - - -  
  
A/N: She got to make out with Mush. Lucky little bitch! I so wasn't planning on putting that in there! I hate her.  
  
SOs:  
  
Fire- I didn't want to make the same mistake as my first fic and add everyone to the story in one scene, but expect yourself to come in later. I know what you look like (since I see you every day!), but you want Pie, right? Was that who you got? Can't remember. Lemme know. BTW: Our science group is so much smarter than theres! :-P  
  
Kellyanne: Yay! I'm specialful. Yes, it is sad, isn't it? I don't know why I love torturing my characters so, but yeah, Mush would make a good pillow, wouldn't he. I knew a guy like that once, his name was Brandon. I loved him. Well, I still love him. I know you so don't care about him though. So anyway, glad you like my story. Keep reading, and reviewing! 


	5. Hangovers Cause Two Kinds of Pain

A/N: Omigosh I'm horrible. I haven't updated in forty-two days. I started writing this a couple weeks ago but couldn't finish because my bat mitzvah came up and then writer's block kicked in. But as long as Kelly's out of town and I have nowhere to go I might as well write to pass the time.  
  
- - - - - - - - -  
  
"So, that wasn't too painful, was it?" Chris asked her the next morning when she woke up. She looked up at him and he was sitting there once again without a shirt on. Shannyn glanced around the room trying to get her grip on where she was. She never was good at getting her bearings first thing when she woke up. A moment later she realized that was inside a bunkroom, surrounded by people from the night before.  
  
Mush was sitting on the edge of her bed, and her dress was sort of loose and off from the way it was situated the night before. A moment later she realized that it was because the midsection of the dress was completely unhooked, leaving her stomach area a lot freer. Half of her corset was also unbuttoned, but it still fit firmly around her body. She glanced at Mush, who had a grin on his face that wasn't fading. "We didn't--"  
  
"Sleep tagetha?" he finished her sentence for her. "Nah. I ain't gonna take ya ta bed wit' me when you'se smashed, I'se an honest boy if nothin' else."  
  
She nodded. "Thank ya," she said, leaning forward and kissing his cheek.  
  
As she did so the unfastened dress began to slip, exposing the front of her very "uplifting" (if you know what I mean) corset, and everything that went along with it. Mush instantly reached out his arms and pulled the dress back up, starting to fasten the back as he went. "Sorry I did dat foah ya, but da boys was lookin' atcha, an' I didn' t'ink ya wanted dat."  
  
"You're sweet, you know that?" she said, her head resting on his arm as his nimble fingers worked with the hooks on the back of her top.  
  
Chris grinned softly before attempting to wipe the smile off his face and seem less excited. With a barely detectable hint of sadness he informed her, "You'se still drunk, aren't ya? I'll have ta find out who doubled da alcohol content. I'se got a killah hangovah meself."  
  
"Even if I was drunk, you're still a sweetie. Honestly, Mush, you remind me of Andre," she told him.  
  
Mush was somewhat taken aback that she would compare him to her late husband, and he didn't exactly know how to respond to that. Fortunately, he didn't have to, because at that moment Shannyn cried out. "What's wrong?" Chris asked, worried.  
  
"My hangover just kicked in," she answered, grabbing her head.  
  
Mush laughed, secretly relieved that that was all that was wrong. "Lemme go see if Spot heah's got anythin' that'll help ya out wit' dat. Most of us is so used ta it we jus' let 'em roll of, but I'se gotta be woikin' taday so I bettah find meself somethin' too."  
  
Shannyn nodded and followed Mush, not wanting to resist. After trying out a few of the boy's homemade remedies she wasn't quite sure she should have been so willing, but what was done was done.  
  
As she waltzed into work a few hours later having changed her clothing, bathed, and just generally cleaned herself up. Unable to get the bags out from under her eyes she had also applied make-up, leading to the use of light blush, lip rouge, and mascara.  
  
"Shannyn, what have ya done ta yaself?" Chris asked when he saw her fully decked out in her new look.  
  
She smiled, but it didn't appear to be her own smile. "Just thought I'd try something new. You don't like it?"  
  
He looked her up and down, not knowing how to answer her. "It's not dat I don' like it, 'cause I could nevah lie an' say I don' like dolls, but it ain't you I'se lookin' at. I ain't seein' Shannyn, I'se seein' some sort a desperate tart."  
  
"But you liked it fine to stare at me at Spot's party? Honestly, I'll never understand you, Chris." With those last words, Shannyn stormed back out of the club, not caring that she could lose her job for her actions. Indeed, the consequence of her leaving had not even reached her brain. She wanted to get away from Chris; that was all that mattered to her at the time.  
  
Reaching an alleyway she threw herself desperately to the ground, ruining her dress. Tears fell down her face, causing rivers of tears to merge with streams of black mascara, like oil spilling into the ocean's waters. "Why in hell did I do that? Why? What was I thinking was to be gained by this?"  
  
"Ah, what the hell," she said, pulling out her blade and once again making the horizontal slash marks she'd become accustomed to. She let the wounds bleed freely as she pulled the knife back from its resting place and put it back in her pocket. Once again, the world beyond slumber called her as colors swirled around and around, faster and faster until all of the sudden it went black again. Too bad she'd be back in the world by tomorrow morning.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
A/N: Yup, she's not dead. So the story isn't done. And I am a horrible updater. I swear I'll try to get better. It's not easy! Well, I guess it really is, but I'm working on it! Yeah. I know how I want this to end, and I'm forming ideas for the rest of the story, so it should only be getting better.  
  
REVIEW MY MINIONS!!  
  
Oh yes, shout-outs (not that you'll even remember what you said):  
  
Firecracker: I know, I know. I'm bad. So are you. Yup. Making out with Mush would be fun. I'm tying you in to my story, I just don't know how yet. If you couldn't tell, there's been limited interaction with most of the newsies, so that's why you weren't in here.  
  
Frenchy: I'm talking to you right now. Moony, Padfoot, and Prongs are my lovers. Well, our lovers. That had nothing to do with your review, but we're discussing it. Yup. And mini-Racetracks are hot. You know you secretly love Race, you just won't admit it! "Once you go 'Track, you'll never go back." Damn, I just wrote that outta nowhere. I like it.  
  
ember: glad you like it. and I am keeping it going, even if I'm going ridiculously slow. Heh. 


	6. Just Not Right

A/N: Yes, I'm writing again. I'm proud, it's only been eleven days. Man, I'm horrible. You know, I used to update once a day. That was on my other account, with another story, but still… Yeah. I'm leaving for camp Sunday, so I can't promise any updates after this until after the 19th. Sorry!!

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That morning, around four o'clock Shannyn staggered into her room almost like a drunk person. Bandaging her wrists with the scraps she had used before she walked towards her mirror. She gazed at the reflection staring back at her. A delicate looking girl with disheveled long raven colored locks tumbled down her back. Piercing green eyes stared back at her, asking, _How could such a normal looking girl have so many hidden emotions? So much angst and pain?_

But she wasn't normal. Even Shannyn knew enough to know that. 

~*~*~*~

"Shannyn? Shannyn?" Mush ran through the streets, searching for the girl he'd only just met a few days before. "Oh, damn, what 'ave I done?" he shouted loudly, but he was only talking to himself. 

Multiple people passed by, giving him curious looks as he ran up to them, describing Shannyn and asking if they'd seen her. He'd tried all of the Lower East Side, combing all the alleys and searching the streets. Before trying out any of the many New York City boroughs, he headed back to her boarding house one last time. 

"Is Shannyn heah?" Mush begged of the woman at the front desk. She nodded before dismissing him. Obviously she didn't want to associate with street trash like him, despite her being only two rungs or so above him on the social ladder. 

Banging on her bedroom door he shouted her name. "Shannyn!" he said loudly, trying to make the girl let him in. 

"Go the hell away!" she shouted back. 

Mush wouldn't take no for an answer. Quickly, he ran to the front desk and without even asking stole the key to her bedroom, opening it. 

"Didn't I tell you to get the hell away?" she screamed at him, tossing makeshift bandage she had created earlier in the day. 

"What's dis?" he asked, staring at the blood on the white cloth. "Ya did it again? Shannyn, are ya stupid? How can ya keep doin' dis ta yahself? I thought you's said you's was okay when I met ya."

"What the hell are you yelling at me for? What'd I do to hurt you?" Shannyn yelled back in defense. 

"Ya hoit me when ya hoit yahself, Shannyn! I care 'bout ya; you mean da woild ta me. How can I not care when you's doin' t'ings like dis ta yahself? You's gonna die one time, Shannyn. Ya won' always be dis lucky."

"Only you would say living was lucky!" she shouted back, thrashing her arm out and knocking the candle she'd bought to the floor. "You think you care about me? You think my death would hurt you? Did you have to witness your own spouse's fucking death? Do you have any fucking clue what that felt like? No!" Tears were now streaming down her face as she collapsed onto her bed, her tiny frame shaking with heavy sobs. 

"Shannyn," Mush said, sitting beside her. He placed his arm tentatively on her shoulder, trying to comfort her. 

"I'm sorry, Chris, I'm so sorry," she managed to say between tears.

Mush grabbed her chin and pushed her head up until her tear filled eyes locked with his own. "I's da one who should be 'pologizin'. I was an ass to ya earlier, an' I don' know what came ovah me."

Shannyn opened her mouth to speak again but, unable to find any words, she simply reached her arms around Mush's neck and hugged him. She breathed deep, drawing in strength from the strong boy's arms. 

Removing his callused hands from around her, he ran his rough fingers across her face drying her tears. Without thinking his brought his lips towards hers.

"No, Mush, no," she said, pulling away. 

Confused, he asked, "Then why didja let me do dis befoah?" 

"I was drunk last time. This is different. I'm sober, and I realize what I'm doing."

"Are yah too good foah me? Is dat it?" he asked, getting defensive. Chris Meyers was not exactly used to being turned down for a kiss. Or anything else for that matter. 

"Mush, you're a great boy, and I really like yah. That's not what this is about. Chris, I can't do this. It's just not right."

Mush was still confused. The naïve natured he'd had as a child had carried over into his early adulthood. "How isn't dis right? I like ya, Shannyn, an' you's like me? What's left ta be right?" 

"I promised my undying love to another, Chris. He may be in heaven, but I can't desert that promise. Making out with boys I barely know is a disgrace to his name, and I can't do that. I like you, you're a great person." She paused and took in a breath, removing her eyes from his entrancing gaze. "But liking someone ain't enough. I don't love you, Mush. I'm sorry, I just can't."

"I undahstand," he said, even though his tone made it clear that he didn't really. Without another word he walked out of the room, his head hanging low with sadness. 

"Chris!" she shouted after him, but it was no use. The lonely boy walked straight into the street, his shirt clinging to his skin as the rain poured down on his, mixing with his own tears. 

"Screw it," Shannyn whispered softly to herself before the crying began again. 

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A/N: All right, so it's shorter than I wanted it to be. But this is a good ending spot. In fact, I think I'll start another chapter right now so that I get some stuff in before camp. But yeah, on to the shoutouts..

Shoutouts:

Frenchy- Hehe. You used my word! Wanker! Which is almost as good as bollocks . . . but if you ever go to England I wouldn't recommend using those words. Seriously. Big mistake! Heh. Not that I would know . . .

Ember- Hehe. Praise is special. Glad you like my story! Makes me happy. Makes me feel special!! I like to feel special. OMG I feel so high. And I'm like writing about a depressed person. There's something wrong with me. Seriously. LOL.

Cici- Hehe. I actually don't know why I said that, except I didn't want to break the pattern of my shoutout's for this chapter. Anyway . . . * does the new reviewer dance * * knocks over chair * * frenchy was coincidentally sitting in the chair * Oops. Heh. Anyway, glad you like. Yeah, depression is bad. I had to battle it all through sixth grade, and I still have relapses sometimes. 

****

IMPORTANT NOTE: I realize I should have posted this earlier, but I've been thinking a lot about it after talking to certain friends of mine about stuff. I just want to say that if you suffer depression or you think about cutting or actually do cut or do other acts of self-mutilation then you need to get help. I battled depression all throughout my sixth grade year, but I never got help. Sometimes even after a lot of time I go through relapses, and I know I'm not quite the same person I used to be. I never cut, namely because I was too afraid my parents would find out and force me to go to some sort of shrink. But now I think it would have definitely been better in the long run to have gotten help. So please, if you are depressed or suicidal, please GET HELP. You don't want to do something you'll regret. 


	7. Nobodys Perfect

"Get over here, bitch!" the voice rang loudly down the alley. A shiver ran down Shannyn's spine as she recognized the twisted speech. A tinge of a slur accompanied the voice, but it was unmistakable, especially since that day was permanently burned into her brain. Without even turning around to confirm her fears Shannyn darted out of the alley and into the safety of the nightclub, only to be greeted by ten newsboys and girls glaring daggers at her. 

"So, Lil Miss Heartbreakah decided ta have a little fun wit' me boy Mush heah, eh? Mess around an' den tell 'im he's da one doin' da wrong thing. What kinda game yah playin', slut?" Jack asked as she walked in the door. 

Racetrack nodded his head. "You's was jus' lookin' foah a good fuck, eh? And den tah get outta da relationship yah said yah still loved yah husband and you's was drunk."

Slurring slightly, indicating he himself was drunk, Spot spoke. "Yah husband's dead an' eithah up dere wit da heavenly faddah or boinin' in hell wit da devil, but eithah way he ain't heah!"

Even Spark looked at me with a look of betrayal. I thought we'd become friends that night, but then again, I thought they'd all been my friends. 

Shannyn didn't want to deal with angry newsies after her encounter with the murderer of her dead husband on her tail, but since the latter was indeed following her she couldn't walk back out into the streets. 

Without even bothering to defend herself she slid into the back room, propping a chair up against the doorknob and locking the others away from her. Curled into a petit ball she started to drift into a semi-sleep. And then the memories floated back to her. 

**Flashbacks**

"Do you, Shannyn Williams take Andre Barjon to be your lawfully wedded husband?" the priest asked. 

Without a tint on hesitation in her voice Shannyn replied, "I do." 

Andre followed suit when asked, and the priest happily announced them "Man and wife." 

"You may now kiss the bride."

And right there Shannyn knew that she'd never feel a love so bright as she did while kissing Andre. Even there, in front of all her friends and family she could feel the love that Andre had for her and the love she had for him. Even his little annoying habits that she'd noticed at the beginning of their courting had disappeared in her mind. 

It brought back to her a quotation she remembered someone telling her once. She couldn't remember who'd said it first, but it was definitely true. "Love isn't finding the perfect person, it's seeing an imperfect person perfectly."

And that was how she saw Andre.

Perfect.

~*~*~*~

"Andre, why did you marry me?" she once asked him out of the blue.

He seemed surprised by the question but answered quick and without a beat, "Because I love you."

Shannyn smiled a bit, but persisted with the questions. "And why do you love me?" she asked. 

"Because," he said, taking her hand, "you're sweet," he kissed her hand, "beautiful," he kissed her wrist, "amazing," he kissed her lower arm, "stunning," he moved further up her arm, "astonishing," he reached her elbow, "enchanting," upper arm, "exquisite," still her upper arm, "precious," he reached her shoulder now, "charming," her neck, "priceless," and he finally reached her mouth and said, with an air of finality, "and perfect."

"No one's perfect," she whispered.

"You're perfect for me," he answered, kissing her once again. 

~*~*~*~

One warm summer day they packed onto a train and started off for the beach, nothing in their hands, and only a couple of dollars in Andre's pocket. When they reached the shore he bought ice cream for the two of them and they sat and watched the sunset. Their kisses that night were sweet as chocolate, and they couldn't stop, even though they were in public. Disapproving old ladies tutted at them, and even some tossed a "tsk, tsk" in their direction, but they just laughed them off. They were young husband and wife, they felt the need to express their passion physically, no matter where they were. 

~*~*~*~

"I can't stop fate, I'm going to die. That's the all of it. But you have to promise - promise me right now - that you'll go on living your life. Remember me, but don't devote your life to me. Please, Shann, please," he begged that fateful night that brought an end to all the happy memories. "Promise me."  
  
"I promise," she whispered, softer than anyone she'd ever heard before.   
  
"J'aime tu," were his last words. The gorgeous "I love you," was attached to the bittersweet parting of two lovers. 

**End Flashbacks**

"Damn it," Shannyn thought, "where's my pocketknife when I need it?"

Unable to ease the pain by hurting herself physically, Shannyn simply collapsed into a heap once again, sobbing so much her body shook.

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A/N: So I got my fluff in there. I actually didn't plan on fluff, but that's what happened. Yeah. Blame that on me listening to Train. I am the official longest Train fan I've ever met. I've loved them since 1999 when I saw them and Hootie and the Blowfish for my birthday. Beat that. Heh.

No shout-outs since I just wrote my other chapter. But yeah. Review, please. If you don't, then whatever. 

Hope you like it. 

Oh, and the whole part about the kissing up the arm, someone did that to me once. They didn't compliment me as they did it, but that was what led to my first real kiss. (Love ya, Brandon). Yeupp. 

_Next Chapter: So why is Andre's killer back? And who is he anyway? And how did he find Shannyn? BWAHAHA. I 3 cliffhangers. _


	8. AN

This story (as well as the rest of mine) is currently on hiatus because I have written myself into a corner and it's been over a month since I've been able to do anything about it. I apologize for just stopping like this, but I'd rather wait even five months before writing then finish what I consider a decent story with a sucky ending. I hope you understand where I'm coming from, and I'll update as soon as I have it all worked out in my mind.  
  
Mush love to all my reviewers, you guys are my life!  
  
CTB,  
  
Spark. 


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